The Long Road Ahead
by Rena
Summary: Lu returns to work after her leave of absence and struggles to put the past behind her
1. Default Chapter

THE LONG ROAD AHEAD  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, only the plot. The characters belong to Whoopi Goldberg and Lifetime Television.  
  
Setting: This story takes place immediately following the episode "Recovery Time."  
  
Summery: Lu returns to work and struggles to get her life back on track and put the past behind her.  
  
  
Dr. Luisa Delgado poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at her desk. She had a few moments yet before her first patient was due, and she needed a few moments alone. A sudden knock on the door startled her. "Yeah?" The door opened and Dr. Robert Jackson, Chief of Staff at Rittenhouse Women's Health Center, came in.  
"Good morning, Dr. Delgado. I just stopped by to see how you're doing."  
"I think I'll be okay." Lu answered.  
"You sure?" Lu nodded.  
"Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, life goes on, right?"  
"Well, just let me know if you need anything."   
"Thanks, Dr. Jackson. I will." Lu took a sip of her coffee as he exited her office. She knew everyone was asking themselves the same questions that were on her own mind. Was she up to the heavy demands of her job at the RWHC? She took a deep breath. "Well, I guess it's time to find out." She quickly finished her coffee, then hurried out to the reception area. "Lana, who's my first patient?" Lana Hawkins handed her a file folder. "Brooke Abrahams."  
"Great." Lu quickly called the young woman into the examination room. "So how ya doin', Brooke?"  
"Pretty good, I guess. I was surprised when I called the other day and Lana said that you were gone. I didn't think you ever took time off." Brooke answered.  
"Yeah, well, that couldn't be helped." Lu replied, leaving it at that, as she didn't want to explain to her patient the real reason why she had had to take a leave of absence.  
"Well, your lungs sound pretty good. At least much better than when you were here last week."  
"I feel much better than I did then too." Brooke smiled.  
"That's good to hear," Lu answered. "Then I won't need to see you here for awhile. But if you do have any more trouble, just give me a call."  
"I will. Thanks, Lu." Lu smiled.  
"Bye, Brooke." Lu followed the young woman out of the exam room, stopping at the reception desk. She handed Brooke's file to Lana. "Who or what do you have for me next, Lana?" Lana handed her another file.  
"Emily Sue Ricks."  
  
  
Dr. Dana Stowe approached the reception desk. "Hi Lana. Where's Lu?"  
"With a patient." Lana answered. Lana immediately noticed the look of concern on the doctor's face.  
"How is she?" Dana asked.  
"She seems fine to me, Dr. Stowe. Or at least much better than she has been lately."  
"Great. That's sure good to hear." Dana said. "Ask her to drop by my office when she gets a chance, will ya?"  
"Sure thing, Dr. Stowe." Dana headed down the hall towards her own office.  
  
  
Lu knocked on the door to Dana's office, then walked in without waiting for a reply. "Lana said you wanted to see me."  
"I just wanted to know how you're doing. You know, coming back to all of this after..." Lu sat down in the chair across from her partner. "Sometimes I ask myself that same question, Dana. I'd like to think that I am ready. But then there are those times when I'm not so sure. Next to my son, RWHC and my patients are my life. And when I think about how I almost destroyed that..." Lu paused, lowering her gaze. Dana walked around her desk, sitting on the desk in front of Lu. "Lu, what happened to you was not your fault. You were dealing with it in a very real way. You were angry. Kilner didn't get punished for what he did to you so you tried to punish yourself. You were hurting, Lu. But you wouldn't..."  
"I wouldn't admit it. I know." Lu said, interrupting. "And Dr. Jackson would have had every right to fire me. He was right, you know. I couldn't have cared for my patients in the state I was in. I should have seen that."  
"Well, it's over now. And you're back on track. And if you need any help, we are all here for you. You know that, don't you?" Lu nodded as she stood to go.  
"Yeah, I know that now. And thank you, Dana." Dana smiled. "We can talk again later. Right now we both have patients to tend to."  
  
  
  
Lu opened the door to the supply room and glanced around, trying to locate the supply of latex gloves. A sudden touch on her shoulder, and a voice behind her made her jump. "Hey, Lu." Lu spun around, her breathing heavy and hand clutching her chest. Dr. Nick Biancavilla stepped back. "Sorry, Lu. I didn't mean to startle you." Lu waited until she could catch her breath before answering. "It's okay, Nick. I shouldn't be so jumpy. I just didn't hear you come in, that's all." Lu grabbed a box of gloves, than quickly left the room, leaving Nick staring after her.  
  
  
Lu sighed as she sat down at her desk later that morning. It had been a busy morning, and she was glad for a few moments alone, although she knew it wouldn't last long. The days at RWHC were always busy, and a rare break was always welcome. She poured herself a glass of water, and dug into her purse, searching for the bottle of tylenol she had tossed into her purse that morning.  
  
  
"Hey Lu, care to join us?" Lu carried her lunch tray to the table and sat down across from Dana. Lana glanced at Lu's tray, which consisted only of a small salad and an apple. "Is that all you're eating?" Lu looked at her plate, then at Lana. "Yeah. I'm not very hungry, that's all."  
"That's not enough to keep a bird alive," Lana insisted.  
"Yeah, well, it's fine for me." Lu picked up her fork, but only pushed her food around on her plate.  
"So how's it going today, Lu?" Dana asked. Lu shrugged.  
"Okay, I guess. I mean, nothing out of the ordinary."  
"And you're doing okay?"  
"Yeah, I guess." Lu glanced around the table at her friends. She could read the questions in their eyes.  
"Look, you guys. I know what you're thinking. And you need to stop. I'm fine. I'm back to work now, and I just want to put the past few weeks behind me. And I want all of you to do the same. Okay?"  
"Yeah, sure." Nurse Peter Riggs answered.  
"Anything you say, Lu." Dr. Nick Biancavilla replied.  
"Good. Thank you." Lu put her fork down and took a drink of her coffee, not noticing the silence of her friends as they glanced at each other. Nick cleared his throat.  
"Well, guess I'd better get back to ER. I'll see ya guys later."  
"Yeah, see ya later, Biancavilla." Lana answered.  
"See ya, Nick." Lu said. She glanced at her watch. "I'd better go too. Talk to you guys later." She got up, emptied her tray, and made a quick exit out of the cafeteria. Lana took a sip of her coffee, then looked at Dana. "So what do you make of that?"  
"What do you mean?" Dana questioned.  
"You mean you didn't notice how fast she ran out of here? She didn't eat anything at all. Or didn't you notice that either? You didn't notice how she hardly talked at all? Does that sound like the real Lu to you?"  
"Lana, it is going to take her some time to get back to being the real Lu. She's been through a terrible time. Coming back to work so soon is a big step. But it will take her time to work through it. All we can do is to let her know that we are here for her, whenever she needs us."  
"Biancavilla said that he saw her in the supply closet earlier, and when he came up behind her, he thought she was going to have a heart attack. She was breathing hard and holding her chest..."  
"Yeah, he told me that too. But anyone would be startled if someone came up behind them like that." Dana answered.  
"Yeah, I suppose so." Lana wasn't convinced. She had also noticed that Lu seemed to be a bit jumpy today. She quickly finished her coffee, than stood to go. "Well, time for Lana to get back to her post. I'll see ya later, Dr. Stowe."  
"See ya, Lana." Dana said as she glanced at her watch and realized that she also needed to get back to her office to get ready for her next patient. 


	2. Suspicions

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.  
  
  
Chapter 2: Suspicions  
  
  
Lu reached over and turned off the alarm, then lay back against her pillow. As she started to get up, she suddenly felt nauseated, and made a mad dash for the bathroom, glad that her son wasn't up yet.  
Lu knelt on the bathroom floor, hands tightly gripping the toilet seat as she vomited violently into the toilet. When she finished, she sat against the wall, trying to catch her breath.  
"Hey Ma. You okay?" Marc asked through the door.  
"Uh...yeah. I'm fine." Lu answered. "I'll be right out." Lu pulled herself to her feet, still feeling a bit shakey.  
Lu turned on the shower, undressed, and stepped into the shower. She was still feeling a bit weak, and held onto the wall for support. "What is wrong with me this morning?" she asked herself. "I don't have time to be sick." She quickly finished her shower, than continued getting ready for work.  
When she went into the kitchen a short time later, she found Marc sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. Marc glanced up. "You okay?" Lu nodded. "Yeah. I'll be fine. It's probably just the flu or something." Lu poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table.   
"Aren't you going to eat breakfast?" Her son asked. Lu slowly shook her head. "I'm not very hungry. I'll grab something at work later." Suddenly, Lu got up and bolted for the bathroom again. Marc could hear his mother retching, and knew that she was not okay.  
A few minutes later, Lu returned to the kitchen. "Mom, I don't think you're okay." Marc said, concerned.  
"And I suppose you're the doctor in the family?" Lu asked with a smile.  
"You just don't sound..." Lu interrupted. "Isn't it time for you to go to school or something?" Marc glanced at his watch. "Yeah. I'll see you tonight." Lu nodded as he kissed her on the cheek, then left the apartment.  
Lu remained at the table, slowly drinking her coffee. She had a feeling that she would be making another trip to the bathroom before leaving the apartment for work.  
And she was right. As she was heading out the door, she felt the familiar nausea and ran for the bathroom, barely making it before vomiting violently into the toilet for the third time that morning.  
When she finished, she sat against the wall for 15 minutes, until she didn't feel so shakey. Then she washed her face with a cool cloth. Glancing at her watch, she groaned, realizing that she was already late for work.  
  
  
"Hey Lana. Is Lu around?" Dana handed the receptionist a file folder.  
"She's not here yet." Lana answered. Dana glanced up, surprised.  
"Not here yet? Has she called?" Lana shook her head. "Nope. I'm sure she'll be here soon."  
"It's just that she's..." Dana started, but stopped as Lu came rushing in, breathless. "Sorry, I'm late. I wasn't feeling well, and spent most of the morning in the bathroom. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me." Before anyone could say anything, Lu had disappeared down the hall and into her office, slamming the door behind her. Lana looked up at Dana. "Now what do you suppose that was all about?"  
"I don't know, Lana. We'd better give her some time to regroup. I've a patient coming in a few minutes, so I'll talk to you later."  
"Sure thing, Dr. Stowe."  
  
  
Lu poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at her desk. She was feeling better, but she was still puzzled as to why she had gotten so sick so quickly.   
She pulled her calendar out of her desk and started paging through it. Her eyes came to rest on a date two weeks earlier, marked in red. Then she realized today's date.  
"Oh god, no." she said softly. It was at that moment that Lu realized that her period had been due two weeks earlier. And she was never late. And now with being so sick this morning, she was scared.  
It had been six weeks ago that she had been raped by the chief of surgery at RWHC. And she was trying hard to put the pieces of her life back together, with the help of her friends, son, and the rape support group.  
"I can't be pregnant." She said softly to herself. "Not now. I just can't..." at that moment, Lu's pager beeped. She glanced at it quickly, then rushed out of her office and headed down to the ER. 


	3. Lu's Secret

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters  
  
  
Chapter 3: Lu's Secret  
  
"Who paged me?" Lu questioned as she ran into the ER, which was busy with activity.  
"I did." Nick answered. "Gun shot victim. It's bad, Lu. Real bad."   
"Okay, on my count. 1,2 and..." together Lu and Nick transferred the young woman onto the exam table. Lu gasped in horror upon seeing the large amount of blood covering the woman's chest, and suddenly she felt nauseated.  
As she and Nick worked feverishly to save the girl's life, Lu fought hard to control the urge to run from the room.  
Nick immediately noticed that something was wrong with Lu, but remained silent, knowing that she wouldn't tell him what was wrong anyway. But he continued to watch her carefully as they worked together.  
"Take her to surgery STAT!" Lu ordered. As soon as the woman had been taken away, Lu pulled off her latex gloves and bolted from the room. Nick stared after her, concerned.  
  
  
After rushing out of the ER, Lu went into the nearest bathroom, getting there just in time before getting sick. When she finished, she sat on the floor until she could stop shaking.  
"This is crazy," she told herself. "I'm a doctor and the sight of blood made me sick." Before leaving the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face.  
She left the bathroom, and headed back to her office.   
"Hey Lu. Wait up." Lu turned to see Nick rushing out of the ER.  
"Hey Nick. What's up?" Lu asked.  
"Are you okay?" Nick questioned.  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Nick shrugged.  
"I don't know. You just seem...like something's wrong." Lu forced a smile.  
"Nothing's wrong, Nick. I'm fine. Now if you'll excuse me, Nick, I have things to do."  
"Yeah, sure." Nick said, staring after her.  
  
  
Lu sat down at her desk, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. It had been a long day, and she was tired. A sudden knock on the door startled her. "Yeah?" The door opened and Dana stuck her head in.  
"Got a minute, Lu?"   
"Sure, Dana. Come on in."  
"I'm leaving now, and just wanted to see how you're doing."  
"I'm doing okay, Dana." Lu answered.  
"Nick said..." Lu sighed, interrupting.  
"He tell you that something is wrong?" Dana nodded.  
"Yeah. He said he thought you were going to be sick when you were treating a gun shot victim. He said as soon as you were done, you bolted out of the ER like a cannon."  
"I think it must be a touch of the flu," Lu answered, knowing she couldn't deny the fact that she wasn't feeling well...but wanting to hid the fact that she could be pregnant.  
"Is there anything I can do?" Dana asked. Lu shook her head.  
"Thanks, but I'll be okay. It's probably just a 24 hour bug or something. That's why I was a bit late this morning."  
"Well, just call if you need anything."  
"I will. Thanks, Dana."  
"I'll see you tomorrow." As Dana left Lu's office, she couldn't help but wonder if her partner was telling the truth. Nick had said that he thought for sure that Lu was going to be sick at the sight of so much blood on their patient, something that Lu never did. Dana sighed. If something were wrong with Lu, she would have to wait until Lu came to her. From past experience, Dana knew for a fact that Lu would deny there was a problem until she was ready to talk about it....or until something happened to bring whatever it was out in the open. 


	4. A Friend Returns

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.  
  
  
Chapter 4: A Friend Returns  
  
  
By Wednesday of that week, Lu had become a bundle of nerves. To her friends she appeared to be edgy, and often distant, spending much of her free time alone in her office.   
For the second time that week, she had been late for work, something that was highly unusual for Lu. When she had finally arrived, she rattled off a quick explanation to Lana as she rushed past the reception desk towards her office, not giving Lana a chance to reply.  
  
  
Lana carried her lunch tray across the cafeteria, joining Dana, Robert, Peter and Nick at their table.  
"Hey, has anyone talked to Lu today?" she asked as she sat down.  
"Talk to Lu? Are you kidding?" Nick asked. "I haven't hardly seen Lu at all today."  
"I saw her for a few minutes earlier this morning," Peter said. "But she seemed to be in a hurry."  
"Is there something going on with Dr. Delgado that I should know about?" Robert asked.  
"I don't think so, Bob." Dana answered.   
"I just think that coming back to all of this after what she's been through has been very overwhelming for her."  
"Well, in any case, maybe I should talk to her." Dana shook her head.  
"I don't think that will be necessary. I'm sure she will be fine." Dana defended her friend, knowing that a confrontation with Dr. Jackson was probably not something that Lu needed right now.  
"Just give her some time. This is her first week back." Dana concluded. Robert glanced at his watch. "I have a meeting in a few minutes, so I will see all of you later."   
  
  
Lu sighed as she sat down at her desk later that afternoon. She glanced at her watch. 4:40pm.   
All afternoon she had managed to avoid much contact with her friends. When she wasn't with a patient or working in the ER, she had locked herself in her office, afraid that if she spent much time with her co-workers, she would somehow let it slip about her suspicion, a secret she wasn't ready to share with anyone...not yet.  
Lu reached into her desk drawer and grabbed the bottle of Tylenol, then threw it back, quickly realizing that if she were pregnant, she couldn't take any medications.   
A sudden knock on the door made her jump. She groaned. She really didn't feel like talking to anyone. Maybe if she didn't answer, they would leave her alone. The knock came again.  
"What?" She asked, her tone impatient. The door opened and a man stepped inside. "Hi Lu." Lu raised her head at the sound of the familiar voice. She was silent for a moment as she stared at him, almost not believing that he was really there. She slowly pushed her chair back and stood up.  
"Harry? Wh...what are you doing here?" She asked softly.  
"I've missed you, Lu. I wanted to see you again." Harry Burr answered. "It seems like it's been forever since we broke up." Lu wanted nothing more than to run to her friend and be held in his arms, just like old times. He could make her forget about that awful night weeks earlier.  
But still, she held back, suddenly griped with a fear she didn't realize she had. As Harry began to move closer to her, she slowly backed away from him.  
Harry immediately noticed her strange behavior and stopped. "Lu, what's wrong? Why are you backing away from me?"  
"I'm...I'm sorry, Harry. It's just that...well..." Lu paused, suddenly realizing that Harry probably didn't know about the rape.  
"Lu, something's wrong, isn't there? Are you seeing someone? Is that why you won't come near me?" Lu slowly shook her head. "No, Harry. I'm not seeing anyone."  
"Then can I at least have a hug?" Lu slowly walked over to Harry, and allowed him to embrace her in a hug. And even though she returned the hug, her body was stiff and tense.  
"Lu, I was hoping maybe you would join me for supper. But I can see that you don't want me here, so I will leave you alone. Tell Marc I said hello." As Harry walked out of her office, Lu watched in silence.  
Several months ago they had been very close. But problems with Harry's ex-wife had forced them apart. And now once again she was watching him walk out of her life. And she knew that she couldn't let him go again...at least not without telling him what had caused her to pull away from him.  
Lu ran from her office, hoping to stop Harry before he left the clinic.  
"Harry, wait!" Harry had reached the reception desk, and turned at the sound of her voice. "What?" He asked. Lu glanced at Lana, then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Harry. I guess maybe we should talk." Harry looked at her for a moment, as if trying to read her mind.  
"Yeah, okay." Harry followed Lu back into her office. Lu closed the office door and motioned for him to sit down. She began pacing the floor in front of him.  
"Lu, did you call me back in here to watch you pace?"  
"Uh...no, Harry. I...there is something that I need to tell you. I just don't know how to start."  
"Lu, if you're trying to tell me that you're seeing someone else, it's okay. I mean, we did break up." Lu shook her head. "No, it's not that. But it's not good, either."  
"Lu, please tell me what is going on. Why did you back away from me like that? I thought maybe you would at least give me a hug when I came back after these long months. I thought you'd be glad to see me." Lu suddenly realized how she must have come across to him. She sat down on the couch beside him, and turned to face him, taking a deep breath. "Harry, six weeks ago I was here at the hospital when my car wouldn't start. I had planned on calling triple A, but I was in a hurry to get home before Marc, so when I was offered a ride home by our new chief of surgery, I accepted. When we got up to my place, he walked me upstairs to make sure that I got there okay. He asked if he could come in to use the bathroom. So he did. He had a bottle of champagne with him because Dana had given him a party earlier in the evening. When he asked if I would have a drink with him, I said yes because I appreciated him driving me home." Lu paused, wishing she didn't have to talk about that awful night, the night she was trying so hard to forget. Lu took a deep breath, than continued. "After we had a drink, I told him he had to go because Marc would be home any minute. But...but he wouldn't leave." Lu stood up and began pacing again. Harry watched her in silence, waiting for her to continue.  
"He pushed me down on the couch and...and he got on top of me. I told him no. And stop. And get off. But he wouldn't. I tried so hard...but he was so much stronger than me."  
"Oh my god, Lu." Harry said when the realization of what she was telling him hit him. "He raped you." Lu nodded.  
"Yeah. In only 5 minutes he..." Lu paused, unable to continue. Harry got up and pulled her into his arms, again noticing how tense she was. But this time, he understood. "Oh Lu. Why didn't you tell me?" Lu shrugged.  
"I don't know." She said softly. "I didn't tell anyone, just the staff that was here that night when I came into the ER. Dana did the rape exam. I didn't even tell Marc for a week."  
"So what happened to the guy that did it?" Harry asked, with unmistakable anger in his voice.  
"He was arrested, then released and returned to work."  
"Was there a trial or anything?" Harry questioned. Lu nodded.  
"Yeah. He was acquitted because the jury said there was insufficient evidence."  
"I sure hope he's not still here at Rittenhouse."  
"No. He is at Manhatten General now." As Harry held her, Lu leaned against him, finally allowing her body to relax and enjoy being close to him once again.  
"Lu, lets go out for dinner tonight. For old times sake?" Lu pulled away from him. "No, Harry. I...I can't." With that, Lu ran out of her office, leaving Harry staring after her. 


	5. Lu's Strange Behavior

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters  
  
  
Chapter 5: Lu's Strange Behavior  
  
  
Lu splashed cold water on her face, then leaned against the bathroom wall.   
"I've got to pull myself together." She scolded herself.   
"You talkin' to yourself?" Lana emerged from one of the stalls.   
"Uh...Lana. I didn't know you were in here." Lana smiled.  
"Well, that's a bit obvious. So what was Harry doing here? He want to rekindle an old flame?" Lu slowly shook her head. "Uh...no....I don't think so. He..."  
"Did you tell him? About the rape?"  
"Yeah." Lu answered slowly. "I told him."  
"How'd he take it?" Lana questioned.  
"Lana, I really don't feel like talking about it right now, okay? I just..." At that moment Lu's beeper went off. She quickly glanced at it. "Damn. I'm wanted in ER." With that, she ran out of the bathroom. Lana stared after her, shaking her head.  
  
  
"Who paged me?" Lu asked as she rushed into the ER.  
"I did." Answered Dr. Warren Gayle, who had only been at Rittenhouse Hospital for a couple of weeks. "Rape victim, exam room #8." Lu suddenly felt as if her feet were glued to the floor, and a large lump formed in her throat. A sudden touch on her shoulder caused her to jump. "You okay, Lu? Want me to page Dana?" Nick asked, concerned. Lu slowly shook her head. "Uh...no. It's okay, Nick. I'll...I'll take it." Nick nodded as Lu disappeared into the exam room.  
When Lu arrived in the exam room, she found a young woman seated on the table, her blonde hair messed, and tears streaking her pale cheeks.  
"Hi. I'm Dr. Lu Delgado. And this is Nurse Donovan, victim's advocate here. You were raped?" The young woman nodded. Lu went over to the cabinet and pulled out a rape exam kit. With trembling hands, she opened the box and began removing its contents.  
"Full name?" Lu asked.  
"Raelynne Kristyne Bridger."  
"Date of birth?"  
"June 19, 1972." Lu quickly wrote down the answers as Raelynne answered them. "Relationship to victim?" Lu asked.  
"Acquaintance." Raelynne answered. When Raelynne looked up at Lu, Lu saw herself weeks earlier, sitting on that very table, being asked those very questions by her partner, Dana. Lu took a deep breath, trying to keep control of her own emotions and hide her own pain from this young woman.   
"I'm scared, Dr. Delgado." The woman whispered. "I'm afraid that I could be pregnant. I'm not on birth control. What if I am? I can't have a baby. Not now. I just can't be pregnant. I can't raise a baby alone." By now, Raelynne was crying, almost hysterical.  
Lu started to speak, then stopped. What could she say? She had the exact same fears. How could she comfort this young woman? Nurse Donovan glanced at Lu, who had suddenly seemed to go into a trance. The color had drained from her face, and she was trembling.  
  
  
"Who paged me?" Dana asked as she arrived in ER a short time later.  
"I did." Nick answered. "I wanted you to be down here in case..."  
"In case what, Nick?" Dana questioned. Nick nodded towards exam room #8.  
"Lu is in there treating a rape victim. I offered to page you, but she said that she would take care of it. But the look on her face...I'm sorry if I bothered you."  
"It's okay, Nick. I'm glad you did."  
"I think maybe it is too soon for her to be handling cases like this. It will just bring back the memories." Dana nodded in agreement. "Yeah. But you know how Lu is. She won't let anything stop her if she can help it." At that moment, Nurse Donovan approached them, a worried look on her face. "Dr. Stowe, something's wrong with Dr. Delgado."  
"What?" Dana questioned.  
"She is doing a rape exam. She seemed okay until the woman started crying and asking if she could be pregnant. Dr. Delgado went into a trance or something, like she is frozen in place or something." Dana looked at Nick, then at Nurse Donovan. "Okay. I'll take care of it." Dana hurried to room 8. By now, Lu had managed to continue with the exam. But Dana could see that her friend was shaking, and knew that Lu was having a difficult time.  
"Lu, why don't you let me take over?" Dana asked softly. "You look like you could use a break." Lu nodded slowly, then rushed out of the room.  
"I'm Dr. Dana Stowe." Dana introduced herself to Raelynne.  
"Is something wrong with that other doctor? Why did she leave like that?" Raelynne questioned, wondering if she had maybe done something to upset Lu.  
"Is it me? Did I do something?" Dana shook her head. "No, of course not. Dr. Delgado is just going through a difficult time right now. Believe me, she knows exactly what you are going through right now."  
  
  
After Lu had left ER, she rushed back to her office, almost colliding with Lana. "Lu, I need you to..."  
"Not now, Lana." Lu went into her office, slamming the door shut behind her. Lana shook her head.  
"There she goes again." Lana went back to the reception desk, once in awhile glancing towards Lu's office and wondering if she should go check on her friend.  
  
  
Lu sat down at her desk and rested her head in her trembling hands. She couldn't stop the tears that fell freely down her cheeks. She had never before allowed herself to choke in front of a patient. And certainly not in front of her co-workers. She had always been strong. "What is happening to me?" Lu asked herself.  
  
  
"Dr. Stowe, may I talk to you for a moment?" Dana had finished with the rape exam, and was leaving the ER when Nurse Kelli Donovan caught up with her. Dana stopped and turned around. "Sure. What is it?"  
"I was wondering about Dr. Delgado. I know I haven't been here long, and I've never worked with her before. But I really don't think her behavior is very professional. She blanked out while treating a patient. What if it had been a life or death situation and that happened? I think I should talk to Dr. Jackson about it." Dana shook her head.  
"No, that won't be necessary. Maybe you..."  
"And how could you tell that young woman that Dr. Delgado knows exactly what she is going through? No one could know that unless they've been there themselves. How could you lie...?" Dana took a deep breath, trying not to allow herself to become upset with the new nurse.   
"Nurse, you're right. You haven't been here very long. And to come in here and call Lu unprofessional and me a liar...maybe you should learn the facts before you pass judgement on the staff here." Kelli was taken aback by Dana's sudden outburst. "I don't think..." Kelli started, but Dana interrupted. "Six weeks ago, Dr. Delgado was raped by the chief of surgery here. Within a week he was out of jail and back here at work. When they went before the grand jury, he was acquitted because of insufficient evidence. Dr. Jackson forced her to take a leave of absence because he didn't think she was fit to care for her patients. This is her first week back. Do you still think that she is unprofessional? Lu is one of the most professional staff here." Dana concluded.  
"I...I'm sorry. I didn't know." Kelli said softly. "I won't talk to Dr. Jackson."  
"I'm glad to hear it, Nurse. I just think it's too soon for her to be treating rape victims." Kelli nodded in understanding as Dana excused herself and went back into the clinic.  
  
  
Dana sat back in her chair, thinking about the incident that had just taken place in the ER. Thinking back, she realized that during the past few weeks she had noticed Lu behaving in ways that weren't normal for her.   
The morning of the grand jury hearing weeks earlier, Lu had refused breakfast, stating that she wasn't hungry because she was nervous. Was it just nerves or was it something else? And twice this week Lu had been late for work, saying that she hadn't been feeling well, but then seemed fine the rest of the day. And several times Dana had noticed that Lu hadn't even touched her lunch, saying that she wasn't hungry.  
Dana was puzzled. It was quite obvious that there was something going on with her partner, but what could it be? She just knew that it had to be more than the rape itself. Something else was bothering Lu, and Dana was bound and determined to find out what it was. She somehow had to get Lu to talk to her, to open up to her, to let go of some of her pain.  
Dana hurried out of her office and approached the reception desk. "Lana, where's Lu?" Lana shrugged.  
"Your guess is as good as mine. She left a few minutes ago without a word. I don't know if she's coming back or what. She has been actin' mighty strange this week." Dana nodded.  
"Yeah. If she comes back, tell her I'd like to see her in my office."  
"Sure, Dr. Stowe." Dana went back to her office, now more puzzled than before. 


	6. The Confrontation

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters  
  
  
Chapter 6: The Confrontation  
  
  
"Hey Ma. What are you doing home so early?" Marc asked, surprised to see her home at 4:00 in the afternoon.  
"I...I got done early." Lu lied, knowing her son wouldn't believe her if she told him she wasn't feeling well.  
"Cool. Hey, wanna see a movie tonight?"   
"Not tonight, Marc." Lu answered. "I'm really tired."  
"Yeah, okay." Marc tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. He was used to getting that answer from his mother, as it had happened often during the past several weeks.  
"There's a pizza in the freezer if you're hungry. I'm going to lay down for awhile." Marc nodded as Lu went into her room, shutting the door behind her.  
  
  
Later that evening, Marc was sitting at the table doing his homework. A sudden knock on the door startled him.  
"Who is it?" He asked as he approached the door.  
"It's Dr. Stowe, Marc." Marc quickly unlocked the door, opening it and stepping back to let Dana in.  
"Hi Marc. Is your mom here?" Dana asked.  
"Yeah, she's here. But I don't think she wants to talk to anyone. She came home and locked herself in her room." Marc answered.  
"Will you ask her if I can talk to her?" Dana asked.  
"Sure." Marc returned seconds later.  
"Sorry, Dr. Stowe. She says she doesn't want to talk to anyone." Dana smiled.  
"Mind if I try?"  
"Go ahead." Marc nodded.  
  
  
Dana knocked on the bedroom door.  
"Lu? It's Dana."  
"I told Marc I didn't want to talk." Lu said, her voice slightly irritated.  
"Come on, Lu. I'm not leaving until you see me." Dana replied.  
"Fine." Lu said, opening the door.  
"What are you doing here? It's almost 9:00." Dana followed her into the bedroom. "I thought you might want someone to talk to."  
"Well, you thought wrong. I just need to be alone."  
"Lu..."  
"Dana, is this about what happened in the ER today? Because if it is, I'm sorry."  
"This is not about what happened today. Well, not totally anyway."  
"Then what? You don't usually come down here. So there must be a reason, right?"  
"You're the reason I came down here, Lu." Dana answered. "I wanted to see you."  
"You saw me at work, isn't that enough?" Dana couldn't help but smile at Lu's attempt to make a joke, which was often her way of avoiding a subject.  
"Lu, talk to me. Please."  
"I don't know what you want from me, Dana." Lu answered, turning away from her to hide the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.   
"Lu, I think you do know what I want. I want to know why you've been late to work twice this week. I want to know why you never eat anything. I want to know why you keep locking yourself in your office. You haven't even been going to chat room this week. I want to know why you don't talk to anyone. And yes, I want to know what happened to you in the ER today. That's not like you at all. I've never known you to choke like that. I had to convince that nurse not to report you to Dr. Jackson. Now why don't you just tell me what is going on" Dana paused and took a deep breath, giving Lu a chance to answer. But instead, Lu kept her back towards Dana. When Lu didn't say anything, Dana continued. "Lu, you have been going through hell since that night. And I know that you are trying very hard to put it behind you and move on. But you are trying to do it alone. And I also know that there is something you're not telling us. Please Lu, let us help you." Dana paused, once again waiting for some response from Lu. This time Lu turned to face her, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
"Dana, what happened in the ER this morning...I don't...I couldn't..." Lu paused, not sure how to tell her partner what had caused her to freeze in the ER that morning. Lu lowered her gaze, not able to look Dana in the eye. Dana reached out and gently touched Lu on the shoulder, speaking gently as she did so.  
"Please, Lu. Talk to me." Finally, Lu knew she couldn't keep it to herself any longer. She had to tell Dana the truth, and she had to do it now. She took a deep breath.  
"Dana...I think I might be pregnant."  
"What?" Dana asked softly. Lu nodded.  
"My period is over 2 weeks late...and it's never late. I've been tired, and I haven't been feeling well. I can't eat. I'm a nervous wreck. This morning in the ER, I..." Lu quickly sat down on the bed as her knees threatened to buckle.   
"I was doing okay until she started asking if she could be pregnant." Lu said in a low voice. "Then I don't know what happened. I choked. It suddenly hit me that I had that same fear. And I couldn't...I couldn't..." Unable to control herself any longer, Lu suddenly broke down in tears. Dana sat down beside her and put her arm around her, trying to comfort her in some small way. They sat in silence for a moment, Lu's body shaking as she cried.  
"Lu, have you had a pregnancy test?" Lu shook her head. "No. I guess I'm afraid of what I mind find out."  
"I'm sorry, Lu. I didn't even think to check for pregnancy that night because I knew you were on birth control. Because of that, I didn't give you an emergency contraceptive. You are on the pill, aren't you?" Dana questioned. Lu slowly shook her head. "No. I was for a while, but had to switch to a diaphram. I...I haven't used it since Harry and I broke up. There was no need..." Lu's voice trailed off.  
"I'm scared, Dana." Lu said softly. "What if I am pregnant? What am I going to do? I won't have an abortion. I don't think I could raise it without seeing Kilner every time I looked at the child. And I don't think I could raise another child alone. I dropped out of high school when I got pregnant with Marc. And when I went to med school...Dana, do you have any idea what it was like to go to med school and raise a kid by myself? I spent all day in school, and on the evenings I didn't have classes, I worked in a bar to support myself and my son. There were so many times when I felt like giving up. If it hadn't been for Isabell..." Lu's voice trailed off as she thought about her grandmother who lived in Puerto Rico.  
"Lu, I've never had to go through any of the things you did. And I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you. But..."   
"Sometimes it was pure hell, Dana. One mistake in high school and..." Lu paused for a moment, then took a deep breath. "When Marc was little I struggled to provide for him. I promised myself that someday things would be better for us. Back then, I spent more time in school than I did with my kid."  
"But things are different for you now, Lu. You have a terrific job. And you did a great job raising your son. You should be proud." Lu slowly shook her head. "Don't you see, Dana? I can't raise another child alone. Sure, I have a good job now. But with my long hours at the clinic..."  
"The first thing we need to do, Lu, is to give you a pregnancy test. So I want you to come to my office first thing in the morning, and we'll take care of it. Okay?" Lu nodded as Dana gave her a hug. "And the next thing I want you to do, is to get a good night sleep. You look exhausted. I know this first week back has been hard for you." Lu suddenly pulled away from Dana and wiped the tears from her eyes, suddenly feeling embarrassed that she had allowed herself to break down in front of Dana  
"I'm sorry, Dana. I didn't mean to break down like this."  
"Hey, it's okay. You've been letting it build for much to long. You needed to let it go. I'm going to go now so you can get some sleep. Or I could stay if you'd like me to." Lu shook her head.  
"No, you go ahead. I'll be fine."  
"Okay, but call if you need anything." Dana said as she got up to leave.  
"I will. And Dana?" Dana stopped and turned around. "Yes?"  
"Thanks. Thanks for coming over tonight. And thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder." Dana smiled.  
"That's what friends are for, Lu. See you tomorrow." Dana left, quietly closing the door behind her. Lu took a deep breath as she lay down, suddenly feeling very emotionally drained. Within minutes she drifted off to sleep. 


	7. A Great Relief

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters  
  
  
Chapter 7: A Great Relief  
  
  
Lu slowly opened her eyes, trying to focus on the clock on the nightstand beside the bed. 11:30pm.  
She lay there in the darkness thinking about her talk with Dana earlier that evening.  
Once again, the fear of being pregnant returned to her. Knowing she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, she got up and wandered into the living room. She was surprised to find Marc sitting on the couch.  
"Marc? What are you doing up at this hour? You've got school tomorrow."  
"Not tired." Marc answered. Lu was slightly taken aback by the shortness of her son's response, and immediately felt that something was bothering him.  
"Marc, is something bothering you?" she questioned.  
"No. I'm going to bed now." Before Lu could say anything, Marc got up and went into his room, slamming the door.  
Lu sighed as she sat down on the couch. It was obvious that something was bothering her son, but she was to exhausted to talk to him about it tonight.  
  
  
Lu slowly opened her eyes, then struggled to pull herself off the couch. She rubbed the back of her neck, which ached from sleeping sitting up part of the night. She glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing that it was already after 7am.  
The quietness of the apartment suggested that Marc had already left for school. But glancing around, Lu saw his back pack sitting on the kitchen table.  
"Oh great. We both over slept." Lu hurried to Marc's room and knocked on the door. "Marc? We over slept. It's after 7. Time to get up and get ready for school."  
"I'm not going." Lu opened the door.  
"What do you mean you're not going?"  
"Mom, I'm not feeling well. A lot of kids have been out with the flu this week. I think I've got it." Lu hurried over to him and felt his forehead.  
"You don't have a fever."  
"I'm sure it's just a 24 hour bug. You can go to work. I'll be okay." Lu sighed.  
"Okay, Marc. You can stay home today. I'll try to get home early. I've got an appointment first thing this morning, so I gotta go in. "  
"Yeah, whatever."  
"Marc, is something bothering you? Because if there is, maybe we should talk."  
"Nothing is wrong, Mom. I'd like to go back to sleep, if you don't mind."  
"Uh...yeah, sure. I'll...I'll see you later." Lu watched him for a moment, than left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.  
  
  
  
  
  
When Lu arrived at RWHC a short time later, she realized that she was trembling. She paused outside the entrance to the clinic, taking a deep breath.  
"Is anything wrong, Dr. Delgado?" Lu jumped at the sudden voice behind her, turning around quickly. "Uh...no, Dr. Jackson. Everything's...uh...fine."   
"Good. Then let's get started with the day, shall we?" Lu nodded as Bob opened the door and followed her inside.  
"Dr, Delgado, if you have time later, I would like to see you in my office."  
"Yeah, sure. This afternoon."  
"That will be fine, " Bob watched her as she hurried down the hall. He knew that she was not telling him the truth, that everything was not okay. He had noticed all week that something was weighing heavy on the young woman's mind...and he decided it was time he find out what was really going on.  
  
  
Lu knocked on the door to Dana's office, then opened the door and went in. Dana glanced up from the folder she was reading. "Morning, Lu."  
"Morning." Lu answered softly. Dana could easily see that her partner was scared, something that Lu very seldom showed. Dana closed the folder and walked around her desk, placing a hand on Lu's shoulder. "Should we get started?"  
"Uh...yeah."  
"I've told Lana that I want no interruptions whatsoever. I figured you don't need everyone in here wondering what's going on."  
"Thanks, Dana. I appreciate that." Dana smiled.  
'Let's get it done, Lu." Lu nodded as Dana prepared to do the pregnancy test, telling her to relax her arm so blood could be drawn.  
In only a short time she would find out the truth. And she was scared. Questions raced through her mind. What if she was pregnant? Would she be able to raise the child of a rapist? Would she be able to give her own child up? She thought back to years earlier, at the age of 16, when her newborn son had been placed in her arms. She had quit high school to raise him, and it had been hard. She knew back then that she could never give up the child that was a part of her, no matter how much she had to struggle to provide for him.  
Lu sighed. But this was different. Marc had been the result of one careless moment between two teenagers. And Lu had taken responsibility for her actions. She loved her son with her whole heart, and never once regretted her decision to raise him on her own.  
If she turned out to be pregnant, it would be the result of a brutal attack. Yes, the child would be hers. But it would also belong to Dr. Rand Kilner, the man who had attacked her and forced himself upon her, ignoring her screams as she fought to get out from underneath him. Could she raise a child knowing who the father was, and how the child had come to be?  
"That should do it, Lu." Dana said. "I'll send this down to lab and tell them I want a rush on it." Unable to speak around the lump in her throat, Lu nodded.  
  
  
  
  
A short time later Dana sat down at her desk and opened Lu's folder in front of her. Lu sat across from her, sitting on the edge of her chair, hands gripping tightly to the arm rest. While Dana read the results silently to herself for a moment, Lu carefully watched her face, looking for an indication as to what the results might be.  
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Dana closed the folder, folded her hands on her desk and looked up at her partner. "Lu, you're not pregnant. It appears that..."  
"I...I'm not pregnant?" Lu asked softly. Dana shook her head.  
"No Lu, you are definitely not pregnant. It appears that all of the symptoms you've been experiencing is caused by stress. And I must say, I'm not one bit surprised."  
"I'm not pregnant." Lu repeated again, trying to let the good news sink in. Dana smiled.  
"Now maybe you can start to relax a little." Lu nodded.  
"Uh...Bob wants to see me in his office this afternoon. Do you think he suspects something?"  
"Oh, just tell him you're busy and will need to make it another time. Now that you know that you are not pregnant, you will be more like yourself. He will see that and then realize that nothing is wrong."  
"Thanks, Dana. I really don't want to talk to Jackson just now." Lu stood to go.  
"I'd better get to work. And Marc is home sick today, so I'd better check in with him."  
"Nothing serious, I hope." Dana said. Lu shook her head.  
"No, he doesn't have a temp or anything. He says the flu has been going around. I'm not so sure I believed him, but I didn't have the energy to argue with him so I just let him stay home. He doesn't miss much school, so one day won't hurt anything."  
"Well, congrats Lu. Oh Lu, are you going to Bob's surprise party tonight?" Lu nodded.  
"Yeah. I'll be there. Talk to you later, Dana." Dana smiled as Lu quickly left her office.  
"Well, I'm glad that's over," Dana said to herself. "Now maybe Lu can really start to heal.  
  
  
Lu poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at her desk with a heavy sigh. It had been a very busy morning, and she was glad for a few moments to be alone. As she slowly drank her coffee, she suddenly remembered that Marc was home today She had been so caught up in the results of the pregnancy test, and having patients all morning, she had forgotten that Marc hadn't gone to school that morning . She felt guilty for not calling him earlier in the day. She picked up the phone and dialed her home number. After allowing the phone to ring several times, she slowly replaced the receiver in its cradle, puzzled that her son didn't answer the phone.  
"Maybe he's sleeping." Lu told herself. At that moment her pager beeped. Lu glanced at it. "ER. I'll try Marc later." Lu dashed from her office, telling herself that she would do her best to get home early that afternoon so she could spend time with her son before going to Dr. Jackson's surprise party that evening. 


	8. The Party

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 8: The Party  
  
  
  
  
  
Lu glanced at herself in the mirror, finally deciding that she was ready to go out for the evening. She sighed. She didn't really feel much like going out, but because it was a surprise birthday party for her boss, she felt obligated. She looked at her watch. 6:30pm. She inspected herself one last time, then went across the hall to Marc's room, knocking on the door before opening it and going in. "Marc, I'm leaving now. You gonna be okay?"   
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Marc answered. Marc had spent much of the day alone in his room, making it clear to his mother that he needed time alone. Lu sat down on the edge of the bed. "Look, Marc. I know something is bothering you. What is it?"  
"It's nothing, Mom." Marc lied. "I'm fine. Tony brought over my homework assignments. I'll do it while you're gone."  
"That's fine, Marc. But you've been moping around here since last night. Now if there is something you need to talk about, I'm here to listen." Marc glared at her for a moment, but remained silent. Lu leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I won't be late. I don't want to go at all, but since Dr. Jackson is my boss, I really do need to be there, at least for a little while. You understand that, don't you?" Marc nodded, but still remained silent. "Call my pager if you need anything." Lu said with a sigh. Marc nodded again.  
"Night, Marc." Lu left the room, puzzled by her son's strange behavior.  
  
  
A short time later Lu pulled into the parking lot at the Philadelphia Plaza. As she was getting out of her car, Dana pulled up beside her. "Hey, Lu." Dana said as she got out of the car. "Hey Dana." Lu replied. Dana couldn't help but notice that her partner appeared to be a bit nervous. "You okay, Lu? You seem a bit nervous."  
"I'm fine, Dana. It's just that this is my first real night out since...well, you know."  
"Just remember that you are among friends. You will know just about everyone here. How is Marc?" Lu shrugged.  
"He says he's fine, but I think something is bothering him. He won't talk to me about it. In fact, he won't hardly talk to me at all. It's like he is giving me the cold shoulder treatment. And I have no idea why."  
"I'm sure he will snap out of it. He's a teenager. You know how moody they can be." Lu nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. Maybe when I get home tonight I can try to talk to him."  
"Well, let's go join the party, shall we?" Dana asked. The two women hurried into the Plaza. As they were walking down the hall towards the banquet room, Lu suddenly stopped, staring at a group of people standing in the lobby.  
"Lu, what's the..." Dana stopped and followed Lu's gaze across the room.  
"Oh Lu." Dana gasped, knowing now why Lu had stopped to suddenly. Across the room was a group of people, and among them was Dr. Randolph Kilner, the man who had brutally raped Lu months earlier. Dana quickly glanced at Lu, seeing the familiar scared look in her eyes that she had seen in the emergency room that night as she had performed the rape exam on her. Lu quickly grabbed Dana's arm for support, suddenly feeling weak She took a deep breath, then managed to speak around the lump in her throat.  
"Come on, Dana. Let's go."  
"You okay, Lu." Lu nodded quickly as she pulled Dana towards the banquet room, not wanting Kilner to see her there. Dana glanced back at the former RWHC Chief of Surgery, wondering why he was back in Philadelphia, as he had accepted a position at Manhatten General.  
  
  
Later that evening, Lu stood among a group of her co-workers. During the evening she had been unable to relax enough to enjoy the party, knowing that Kilner was in the same building. Only Dana knew why Lu had been on edge all evening.  
"So tell me, Dr. Jackson. How does it feel to be old?" Lana asked with a smile.  
"For your information, Ms. Hawkins, 40 does not make me a senior citizen." Bob replied. "And I would like to thank you all for being here tonight."  
"Our pleasure," Lana said. "We would never miss a chance to wish happy birthday to an old guy." Lana, Dana, Bob, Nick and Peter laughed at Lana's words, but Lu remained silent, glancing at the door nervously. Lana suddenly noticed her friend's strange behavior. "Hey Lu, what's bugging you? You're awful quiet tonight."  
"I...I'm fine, Lana." Lu answered. Peter started to speak, then stopped suddenly when he saw Rand Kilner come into the room. "What is he doing here?" Peter asked, his tone angry. They all turned towards the door. Rand smiled as he approached the group, his former co-workers. "Hi everyone. Bob, I hear congratulations are in order."  
"Hello Rand. What brings you back to Philadelphia?" Bob questioned.  
"Conference. I saw all you people from RWHC and thought I would drop in and say hello to everyone." Rand glanced around the group, ignoring the glares. His eyes came to rest on Lu, who stood beside Dana. "Dr. Delgado." Dana opened her mouth to speak, but paused as Lu suddenly pushed through the group, standing in front of Kilner.  
"What's the matter, Kilner? Couldn't find a victim at MG so came back to Philadelphia?" Lu's tone was loud and angry, gaining the attention of everyone else in the room. Rand was taken aback by Lu's sudden outburst, but before he could reply, Lu turned her attention to the young woman standing beside him.  
"You'd better be careful with this one. He doesn't know the meaning of the word no." With that, Lu stormed out of the room, disappearing into the nearest bathroom. Rand glanced around the room, feeling the stares of everyone in the room. The room had suddenly become quiet during Lu's outburst.  
"Bob, can't you do something about..." Rand started, but Bob interrupted.  
"Rand, I think you'd better leave."  
"But Bob..." Bob held up his hand to stop him.  
"Rand, I'd like you to leave now." Rand took one last look around the room, than turned to leave. As he was leaving, everyone in the room broke out in cheers and applause. Because most everyone there worked at RWHC, they were well aware of what had happened between Lu and Rand Kilner that awful night months earlier. After he had gone, Bob turned to Dana. "I think you'd better go find Lu. I don't want her to come face to face with him when she is by herself." Dana nodded as she hurried from the room. She found Lu in the bathroom, leaning against the wall, her face streaked with tears. Dana gently touched her arm. "You okay?" Lu nodded.  
"Yeah, I think so. Seeing him here was bad enough, but when he had the nerve to speak to me...I just lost it." Lu took a deep breath, than splashed cold water on her face.  
"I guess I'd better go back in there and suffer the wrath of Bob." Lu said, knowing how upset her boss must be at her unprofessional display of anger. She decided that facing him now would be better than facing him at work the next morning. As she started to walk away, Dana grabbed her arm. "Lu, wait." Lu turned to look at her. Dana smiled..  
"I don't think Robert is upset with you for what you said to Kilner."  
"Are you kidding? He's bound to be." Dana shook her head.  
"Lu, Bob asked Kilner to leave. When Kilner started to protest, Bob asked him to leave again. As he was leaving, everyone in the room cheered...including Robert. He asked me to find you because he didn't want you to come face to face with Kilner alone."  
"He really asked Kilner to leave?" Lu asked in disbelief. Dana nodded.  
"He sure did. Now how about we go back to the party?"  
  
  
Lu was exhausted as she unlocked her apartment door a short time later, going in quietly as to not wake Marc. She was surprised to find him sitting on the couch, his back pack on his lap. "Mind if I ask you why you're still up? And what's with the pack?"  
"I called Dad. I'm spending the weekend at his place."   
"What? But you're not supposed to be with him until next Wednesday. You and I were going to go roller blading this weekend, remember?" Marc nodded.  
"Yeah, I remember. But I want to stay with Dad for awhile. He said it's okay."  
"Marc, please tell me what is going on. You have been acting a bit strange since last night. What's bugging you?"  
"Nothing. I just want to go with Dad. Is that okay?" Lu was startled by the defiant tone of his voice. "Yeah, sure. I guess." She answered. Just then there was a knock on the door. Marc quickly opened the door, allowing Bill to step inside.  
"Ready to go?"  
"Yeah. I'll be downstairs." As Marc quickly left the apartment, Bill glanced at Lu, who was still seated on the couch. "Hi, Lu. I'll bring him back Sunday night, okay?"  
"Yeah, whatever." Lu replied, still stunned that her son had made arrangements to stay with his dad without even talking to her first. This was a definite sign that something was bothering the young boy. Lu sighed as she locked the door after Bill had gone. She knew that whatever was bothering him had something to do with her, but she had no idea what it could be. This wasn't like him at all. Oh well, she thought. She wasn't going to worry about it now. She was exhausted, and knew she had to get to bed. She had a full day ahead of her. Her son was in good hands with his dad...or was he? 


	9. The Accident

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 9: The Accident  
  
  
  
  
"Morning, Lu." :Lana greeted Lu the next morning as she entered the clinic.  
"Yeah, whatever." Lu answered as she rushed past the reception desk. "I'll be in my office." Lana watched in surprised silence as Lu went into her office, slamming the door with a loud bang.  
"Was that Lu I just saw breeze by here?" Dana asked as she approached the reception desk.  
"Yeah, that was Lu." Lana answered. "She seems to be a bit bugged this morning. I think seeing Kilner last night upset her more than she would like us to believe."  
"I think you may be right, Lana." Dana agreed. "I have a few minutes before my first patient is due. I think I'll go talk to Lu...just to make sure she is okay."  
  
  
Lu sighed as she sat down at her desk. Friday's at the clinic were always busy, so she knew she would have a busy day. But she was tired, as she hadn't slept well at all the night before. Only an hour after she had gone to sleep, she had been awakened by the nightmare...the same nightmare that had haunted her for weeks following her rape. For the rest of the night she had remained awake, afraid of having the nightmare again, afraid of seeing Kilner every time she closed her eyes.  
She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. There was a light knock on the door, then Dana stuck her head in.  
"Got a minute, Lu?"  
"Yeah, what's up?" Lu asked wearily as she opened her eyes and turned her chair so that she was facing Dana. Dana sat down on the couch.  
"I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I know seeing Kilner last night wasn't..."  
"I'm fine, Dana." Lu interrupted. Dana looked at her closely, noticing how tired she appeared.  
"You sure? You look tired."  
"I just didn't sleep last night, that's all." Lu answered. "I woke up from a dream and..."  
"Was it the nightmare again?" Dana asked. Lu nodded.  
"Yeah. I thought I was done with those. But I guess seeing Kilner..." Lu paused, closing her eyes again. "I'll be fine, Dana." Lu said with determination.  
"So...you and Marc have any big plans for the weekend?"  
"Nope. He's spending the weekend with his dad." Lu replied.  
"He is? I thought you said you and Marc were going roller blading or something tomorrow." Lu shrugged. "Guess he changed his mind. When I got home last night, he said he was staying with Bill. Bill picked him up and that was it."  
"That doesn't sound like Marc. He's never done that before, has he?" Lu shook her head.  
"No. I don't know, Dana. Something has been bothering him for the past couple of days. Whatever it is, he won't talk to me about it. Maybe it's a guy thing and he would feel better talking to his dad."  
"You don't believe that, do you Lu?" Lu shook her head again.  
"No, I don't, really. I'm sure it has something to do with me, but I have no idea what it could be. He hasn't hardly talked to me at all. I asked him what was wrong, and he just said that it was nothing. He's always been open with me before. Why is he closing me out now?"  
"Is there anything I can do?" Dana questioned. Lu sighed.  
"Thanks, but I don't think so. If he won't talk to me, then whatever it is, he will have to work through on his own." Dana knew that her partner was trying hard to hide the fact that whatever was upsetting her son was bothering her deeply.  
"I've got a patient coming in a few minutes, so I'd better go. But I want you to remember that I am here for you if you need to talk." Dana said as she stood to go. Lu nodded.  
"Thanks, Dana. I appreciate it." As Dana closed the door behind her, Lu pulled out a bottle of tylenol from her desk drawer and poured herself a glass of water. She had a feeling this was going to be a very long day...she didn't realize just how long of a day it would be.  
  
  
By 5:00 that afternoon, Lu was exhausted. There had been a constant flow of patients at the clinic, and whenever she had had a few moments to stop and catch her breath, she had been paged to the ER. She hadn't had time to eat lunch that afternoon, and knew she wouldn't be able to continue the fast pace if she didn't at least grab a quick supper. Most Friday nights she rarely left the clinic before 9:00pm, and she had a feeling that this Friday would be no different than any other...or would it?  
  
  
"Hey, Lu." Lana greeted Lu a short time later as the tired doctor chose a candy bar from the vening machine in the lobby. "I'm on my way upstairs to grab a quick bite for supper. Wanna join me?" Lu sighed as she leaned against the machine.  
"Sorry, Lana. I don't have time. I've got about 5 minutes until my next patient."  
"Come on, Kid. You gotta eat. Look at yourself. You can hardly stand up."  
"Lana, I don't need a lecture right now, okay?" Lu snapped.  
"Sure, whatever you say, Kid." As soon as the words were out, Lu regretted saying them.  
"Look, Lana. I'm sorry. It's just that I'm tired and..." At that moment, Lu's pager beeped. She quickly glanced at it. "It's the ER. When my next patient gets here, tell her I'll be back as soon as I can." Without another word, Lu ran down the hall towards the ER, almost colliding with Dana. Dana glanced at the candy bar Lu still held in her hand.  
"Is that your supper?" She questioned.  
"Was." Lu said as she tossed it into the nearest trash can.   
  
  
Paramedics Dave and Seth rushed into the ER, Seth shouting information regarding the patient that was lying unconscious on the gurney. "15 year old male riding a dirt bike, got hit by a car. Couldn't get an accurate reading on BP, pulse is slow, thready, and weak, respirations are shallow, severe trauma to the head, possible internal bleeding."  
Within seconds Dr. Nick Biancavilla was there to help the paramedics transfer the victim onto the table. Nick stopped dead in his tracks, immediately recognizing the young boy.  
"On my count...1,2 and..." Together, the three men transferred him, then Nick quickly surveyed the situation. "Start an IV...D5W immediatly. This kid has lost a great deal of blood."  
In a flurry of activity, an IV was started and Nick began to examine the boy, checking his pupils, and for internal bleeding. "He has internal bleeding, and a severe head injury. We need to get him to surgery to stop the bleeding STAT!" At that moment the doors to the ER opened and Dana rushed in, followed closely by Lu.  
"Who paged me?" they both asked in unison. Nick glanced at Lu, then at Dana.  
"Dana, I need you over here now. Lu, guess we paged you by mistake."  
"You're out of your mind." Lu said as she followed Dana towards the patient. Dana caught Nick's sudden nod to the patient and glanced down.   
"Oh my god," she said softly, then quickly turned to face Lu. "Lu, wait." Lu stopped, confused by her partner's behavior...it sure wasn't like Dana to stop in the middle of attending to a patient in the ER. "Dana, what is your problem?" Lu pushed Dana out of her way and approached the table, stopping suddenly, a look of horror on her face. "Oh god, NO!" Lu screamed.  
"Get him up to OR." Nick ordered. Lu suddenly felt dizzy and lightheaded and reached out to Dana for support. "Grab her, Nick. She's gonna go down." Dana said, quickly realizing that Lu was on the verge of collapsing. Together, they eased her into a nearby chair. Lu sat there for a moment as if in shock, the struggled to stand. Dana and Nick gently pushed her back onto the chair. "Lu, you need to sit down for a moment before you collapse." Dana said softly.  
"Marc..." Lu looked at them with horror filled eyes. "Marc...what happened? I ...I need to go to him."  
"He's being prepped for surgery., Lu." Nick said gently. "You need to sit here and catch your breath."  
"NO!" Lu shouted, bolting out of her chair. "I need to be with my son." And with that, Lu ran out of the ER. Nick sighed, glancing at Dana. "I'm worried about her, Dana. How much more can she take?" Dana shook her head.  
"I don't know, Nick. What happened anyway?"  
"Paramedics said he was riding a dirt bike and got hit by a car. I didn't know Lu allowed him to ride."  
"She doesn't. He was staying with his dad. I'm going up to talk to Robert, then I'm going to check on Lu. I'll see you later." Dana said as she removed her latex gloves.  
"Yeah, sure. Keep me posted on Marc's condition, okay?"  
"Yeah." As Dana left the ER, she thought about the young boy who was upstairs fighting for his life. In the 2 1/2 years that she had known him, she had watched him become a kind, caring and sensitive young man...so much like his mother. His mother. Her partner. If he died, what would thid do to her? He was her whole life. If she lost him, Dana knew that it would destroy Lu.  
"He won't die." Dana said with fierce determination. "I won't let him."  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
